I'm starting to have doubts about going to Kuala Lumpur for my birthday. My first doubt of travel at all started with my mum sunding weird when I told her of my plans in passing. We haven't talked about it since but I think I might have to. We've never really spoken about it at all but IDK if she expected me to come up to Luleå or something. I don't know why it would bother me anyway, if she'd have her way I'd never gone to the US and I'm a grown ass woman. But I still don't wanna upset my mommy.

I'd love a big fun party, but eveyone I love are just so spread out. If I'd go up to Luleå, it'd only be family, if it'd be here it would still be small, and yeah, I don't know. Which is why going away felt like the thing to to. I've worked at the company 5 years this month, and got my "faithfulness bonus" this paycheck - a monhtly salary extra. I thought the tax on that would be 50% but it was only 33% so I do have some money to play with.

My biggest want for travel is Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. You know me and buildings, so I'm obvs in love with the Petronas Towers, and it's warm and I hear the shopping is out of this world. Sounds like a perfect place in November and a birthday, pretty much. My backup was New York but I think that's out of the picture - too cold. Basically. I'd love to go like next spring or something.

But I still have knis gnawing feeling of doubt. I don't know if I'm getting wussy in "old age" but I am. I've always been a bit afraid of Asia in general. It's ridic, I know. I blame Bangkok Hilton. Anyways, Malaysia and KL in particular are very safe places to go to, all the googling I'm doing in conclusive; it's totally fine being a lone girl in KL. People might stare because you're non-Asian, but that's about it. Bagsnatching and getting ripped off in cabs seems to be the biggest issues, pretty much. Plus I could take a mini-trip to Singapore as well. So why do I have this doubt?

I'm thinking it might be cause I haven't been anywhere new in FOREVER. Yeah, South Africa was a year ago, sure, but those work trips are 150% guided so you don't worry about nothing. Basically, the last few years, I've just been back to places I love (Portland, San Diego, Barcelona). Nothing wrong with that, but it was 2009 last time I explored a new country/city on my own, in a city where I didn't already know someone too. So I guess I'm a bit chicken, but I think it'd go away once I got going. I'd love a little "trial run" to a European city before, but I doubt my economy will allow that what with the June London trip as well.

Augh! So, I think I'm just being ridic.
I need to talk with Mommy Superstar about it and then just woman up and buy a plane ticket or something.

ALL THE BRILLIANCE IN THIS EPISODE I CAN'T EVEN.
( GoT spoilers )

So, I had a dream tonight. I was an extra on Catching Fire and all of us extras were all gathered in a big movie theater. I was on the far left and just happened to find Suzanne Collins next to me. She started talking to me and liked me so much that she decided to show me what they'd been filming so far. Obvs everyone else there could see it too and like EVERYONE was filming it on their phones and when asked not to they just mocked and said "already on YouTube dude!" and I felt bad cause they wouldn't have if Suzanne hadn't shown it to me.

We didn't know anything getting there but seeing the clips (which were movie perfected even thought this was clearly in the midst of shooting), I was very pleased with the casting of a girl who's not really in the book. Then I found myself outside with Jensen Ackles in costume and it was very clear that he was Finnick and I tried not to react to that and we were talking while he was sprawled out halfnaked on the grass (in wait for some beach scene?). Then Gary Ross came by (cause clearly he'd changed his mind about directing) and Jensen started to humiliate himself in front of him and Gary just rolled his eyes and told me to come along so we left Jensen on the grass yelling "GAARRRYYYYYYYYY!".

Then Gary just threw me in front of a camera and a guy behind me did the clapper thing and I was so confused. Somehow I knew I was supposed to act like someone or something had been chasing me and I was acting all out of breath and just ad-libbing for dear life cause nobody had shown me any script. There was some notes and signs by my feet to help me and I went on for a while until I couldn't take it no more and said "could we.. can I do that again? Maybe if.. I don't.. Could I maybe see a script? I don't, nobody showed me one, and.." Gray Ross looked FURIOUS now and all the camera guys stared at me like I was crazy. Then Gary just told everyone to pack up for lunch and I was left there by myself, confused. Then I had trouble finding my backpack at the theater.

AHAHAHAHAHA. WHAT.

HEY. Let's talk about the Hunger Games!
I saw it for the 3rd time this week (already feel like #4 should be sometime close but I'm gonna try and stall it until after payday) and I even tried to write down those small moments I keep forgetting to mention and talk about. They're mainly small moments of scenes, 5 of them, but they're so great.

( cut for spoilers (I guess) )

In related news, WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY HUNGER GAMES ICONS.
Maybe cause I suck at LJ these days. But still.




OH - and they keep airing the Snow White & The Huntsman trailer before Hunger Games here in Sweden and I think it looks SO. FUCKING. GOOD. I'm getting really excited about that one.

As much as it pains me to admit it, I have to wake up and smell my moving to London plans retired. Or maybe just.. parked. Cause I do, do, do wanna move there and I'm sure I will one day, but my economy is more than shit right now and before I can even start thinking about anything else, I have to put all those credit cards, and my loan, to 0 (and then cut those cards). Which shouldn't be too hard if I could have some focus and disciplince. But I don't. I'm living on credit right now and I still ordered that damn District 12 training shirt and some other shit. And I can't not go to awesome Starfury cons. I just can't.

The only time I've EVER been able to control my economy was when I was def set to move and COULDN'T. But now I know I can. And abuse. So, first I have to get back to 0, and then I might start thinking about it. And that getting to 0, it's gonna take some time, it is. So instead of thinking "next year.." year after year (like I have for the past years), I'm parking the London plans and I'll focus on a good economy first, and after that, we'll see.

I'm tempted to get a horse "on lease", we have another word for it in Sweden but basically you get a horse that technically belong to someone else but you pay for everything. So you get the horse like it's yours, but it's not. Haha, am I making sense? I've had two glasses of rose. But that's sort of how it works. But again, IF I do, that's def after getting my personal economy back on track. Cause a horse costs monies like crazy. I'm very very tempted to get my own but if I dop the London plans are not retired, they're 6 feet under, and I don't wanna go there right now. But I'm thinking of asking horsie's owner for a 3rd day of the week. 2 just don't seem enough, suddenly.

Economy good = goal 1.
And then we'll go from there.

Work is good. It's stressful, lots to do and I complain but I do still love it. I'm so different from when I was manager, even if I still do stress too much sometimes. I had to email our CEO today saying I made a mistake about an email I sent out and I felt sheepish for a while but it's all over good. I had my monthly review w. my boss and none of us had too much to say but she's.. I have probably not mentioned this, but my previous boss quit, and we got a new one, and my new is like "I LIKE you, and you're so good and helps out and you do SO MUCH" and yeah, feels good. So while I'm still a bit sad I have to park the London dream for a while, my job is really good and the job situation in the UK is shite now anyways, so.

But I have to.. I don't know what I'm gonna do to stop doing unnecessary buys. Gah. And it's not just Hunger Games memorabilia, it's just shit food and magazines and stuff. Tips?

THE 11TH HOUR costume talk!

..and go!

SURPRISE! Not dead yet.
Not today.. Cold IS getting better but only in upright position. Gonna try to figure out how to sleep like that in just a moment.

Trying to decide what to do for parking. I pay about $30/month RN for an allotted parking spot almost as close to my building as I can come. No heating or shelter though. I've thought that if a parking garage opens up (there aren't too many), I'm gonna grab it but now one came and it's expensive as shit - $68/month. So, yeah, don't think I'm gonna go for it. It's a fucking bitch to brush snow and scrape ice and wait for it to defrost, it is - but that's still only for 4, 5 months at the very MOST. And then there's the rest where I don't need a garage or electricity. Hmm. I don't know. It went pretty well this winter but it was a very MILD winter too. Don't know how it'd been if it got worse.

yeah IDK.
Gonna talk w Mommy Superstar about it tomorrow.
Maybe try and luck out and find a garage come late summer/Septemberish and then give it up come spring? (Cause there's always parking spots)

I loved it. I did really love it, but my viewing was incredibly tainted by the other fans seeing it. They screamed when Seneca and Caesar appeared. They screamed when Gale appeared. They screamed when Peeta appeared. They screamed when Haymitch appeared. They screamed when every major fan favorite thing appeared. They screamed when Caesar appeared AGAIN (for the first "official" time). And so on.

And all of that, even the fact that they screamed over "because she came here with me", I could have almost accepted. But it was the fact that people were shouting witty things, whistled innuendo-y when Cinna kissed Katniss on the cheek, etc, etc, etc.. I tried to block it out as much as possible but it was really fucking hard. But it was the early friday night screening, I'm going back for a late screening tonight (sunday), and hopefully that should weed out the smallest kids who have school tomorrow. After that I might wait a while, till it's all settled, to see it again.

( let's talk spoilery! (Both book & movie) )

Mmm. I should really just takea quick bath to get the horsie smell off and go to bed. SHOULD. Buuut I'm bringing the suitcase to work wednesday morning so I have only today and tomorrow to pack, so. Probably won't.

I think it's the first time I'm arriving to London at night. Usually I come in the morning, I think first time I cam maybe midday-2pm something? But otherwise, morning. I live quite close to Stockholm's biggest airport and quite a lot of planes fly over the place where I ride. I've always thought it's somewhat.. romantic about starting a trip late at night. Wake up in another city and so on. But that's of course dependings on time zones, if you can sleep on planes and how far you travel. Well. I said romantic, no realistic. I, for example, will most likely sleep as I go straight from work, but I'll arrive 8.30pm.

I was a bit worried that M&S Food wouldn't be open (it's my first pitstop) but silly me, of course it'll be! Cause Heathrow is awesome. ♥ I'm thinking a bit about which way to the hostel, usually I switch tube in Hammersmith, but that's to avoid managing a huge ass bag on the morning commutes on the Picadilly. I'm thinking it's probably 9pm before I'm even on the train from Heathrow, and it's thursday night so I could probably go straight up to King's Cross without being much bother for either me or anyone else.. mm. We'll see how the mood strikes.

Same goes for my friday in London - I can't decide between going up early for Primark, or sleeping in. But I wanna do some shopping for my Sat outfit (red earrings and if possible a dragon-themed ring) and hopefully find something pretty to wear for the photos too - a bit tired of the things I have RN and don't feel like I have too many options.